Thank you.

One of the sad things about my mom’s situation is that she is isolated, having chosen to remain in a distant small town, alone, after Dad died. The friends they had have fallen away – due to age and illness – and she is completely alone.

We kids visited her when we could, but her home was never our home, and it is difficult to travel to.

She had always stubbornly maintained her independence, refusing to move, refusing to travel. Now she has met her crisis, and she can’t be left alone anymore.

My family is large and we pull together. We are moving her to a facility near two of my siblings’ homes. We are taking turns staying with her 24 hours until the move is completed. Thank goodness we can do this.

But the thing that strikes me most is the lost opportunities, the times that never were, that we could have been with her and she with us, that never were.

I am glad that now I can be there to help her bathe and dress, and take her walker out of the car for her, and listen as she expresses how she feels as her body fails her.

But I mourn the times that I could have picked her up and brought her home for dinner; taken her to the symphony; gone shopping with her; taken her out to tea. That her granddaughters could have dropped by after school. That her grandson could have come by and fixed that leaky faucet. That her son-in-law could have helped her install that printer.

it was her choice to isolate herself – and I have always respected her decisions.

But I want to remember not to make a decision like that when I am in her situation someday. Don’t turn away. Reach out. Share.