Alexandre Dumas wrote The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo, which were published in 1844 and 1845.  He was in his early 40′s when his works were published.  This gives me great hope.

Greater still was my hope when I read on The Writer’s Almanac that it was this day in 1825, when Dumas was 23 years old, that he fought his first duel. One would expect that a duel that is remembered almost 200 years later would have been over some matter of honor, and that Dumas showed great flair and triumph.  

Nope.  Dumas had gotten in a fight with a soldier over a billiards game, and they dueled with swords. Did Dumas win? No. He lost. Worse yet? His pants fell off in the middle of the sword fight.

Dumas once said “A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.”

This is the time of year when people set goals for themselves, try to remake their lives with lists and resolutions and gym memberships. We promise ourselves to be better people, and within two weeks, we are berating ourselves for not meeting the mark. We start to believe we’ll never amount to anything, or at least never attain the goals we set for ourselves.

Don’t define yourself by your moments of humiliation. By all means, remember the dates, and look back on them as lessons. But don’t fall into the trap of regret and recrimination. There is more to you, to your life, than your worst moments.

There’s more to it than just New Year’s resolutions. There is life itself. This time of year, when the winter blues set in and money is tight, I start re-thinking everything I did in the past year, trying to figure out how to get things together a little better. 2008 was a rough, rough year for us. It’s easy to get discouraged, especially when I wake in the middle of the night and wonder how we’re going to make ends meet when the economy is so dismal.

And then I think of the words of the man who, in his very first attempt to be valiant, failed spectacularly and lost his pants. He persevered, and didn’t define himself by his humiliation. He went on to write literary classics. Dumas said “All human wisdom is summed up in two words; wait and hope.”

Wait and hope. This too shall pass, as they say. I guess I look on this blog community as a support system, and I’ve never been disappointed; I have been helped immeasurably by the kind words and encouragement of people who read here, and pledge to do the same for others.

We can define ourselves by our failings and by our moments of darkness, or we can rewrite our lives into stories of triumph. Which will it be?