I am so bored I can’t stand myself.
I’ve hit a wall. I don’t know what to write, I don’t WANT to write, but I am not going to allow myself to stop. Blog hits have trailed off into the weeds (and for good reason). I feel bored, I feel restless, I feel RECKLESS. I feel like screaming.
Here’s how bored I was last week: I read a book that has been in a quiet stack on my dresser for the last year, a book my husband’s mother insisted I would love. A book by Jodi Picoult, called My Sister’s Keeper. It kept my interest, but when I got to the end, I wanted to throw it as hard as I could into the side of my garage. I picked up another Jodi Picoult novel in the stack from my mother-in-law, flipped through it, and saw that she had used the same literary gimmick of switching narrators (and accompanying font styles) for each chapter, just like in the one I had recently finished.
For two days, this has irritated me. All her books with the same style of cover, the same author photograph on each one, as though they were mass produced. The insistence by the publisher (or the author herself) that these stories are “timely” and “ripped from the headlines,” like some episode of Law and Order. Derivitave nonsense. If you are a Picoult fan (and MomJudy, sorry if you’re reading this but…) well, I’m not a fan. It felt manufactured, heavy-handed…a little Thomas Kinkade-esque.
PC is trying to teach Rabbit to ride her bike without training wheels. Watching the whole ordeal reminded me of when I was 22 and he was trying to teach me to drive a stick shift. We were in the middle of downtown in our ’77 Accord hatchback and he was commanding me to shift into third gear, and I couldn’t get the clutch figured out, and I started screaming at him and he yelled at me and I rolled to a stop at an intersection in the middle of the afternoon, and simply got out of the car and walked away. Oh, he was so furious at me for giving up. And today, Rabbit was crying and taking her feet off the bike pedals, and pleading to be allowed to just go back inside, and I looked at PC’s stormy face and realized I was going to have to just walk away. This was going to have to be their little memory together. Needless to say, she’s not riding without training wheels yet.
After that, I made dinner and tried to restore peace in the household. Dinner was a greasy bland disaster. So Rabbit is now in her room with her LeapPad book. PC is at a friend’s house borrowing some sawhorses for a painting project. I’m staring out the window between paragraphs and listening to Rabbit sigh dramatically from her room about the injustice of being stuck at home with her boring parents this week between the last day of school and the first day of her summer day camps that start on the 15th.
I think you’re one of the most interesting people I “know.” I look forward to everything you write.
Everyone feels boring (or even is boring) sometimes…. Good post, though. Very evocative.
Zach was stuck at home all last week with daddy. Dang, he was excited to start camp today!! I would be too. He has bowling tomorrow, with roller skating, swimming, movies, museums, water park and the dreaded Chuck E Cheese all coming soon!
Remember summer camp when we were kids. “Go out and play and be back when the street lights turn on”!!
Um….uhhh….I confess, I’ve read five of Jodi P’s books. I’ve actually really enjoyed a couple, struggled through two, and one seemed like a waste of time (but not because of its predictability). Remember, this advice is coming from the opposite gender (sorta) but I would recommend Marian Keyes or Mary McGarry-Morris as a couple of my favorite contemporary female authors. Pedal On!!
I love reading your blog every day, you are such a fantastic writer. But you are human, and it’s good to know that you struggle with your writing sometimes, because it appears so effortless to us readers.
BTW, you are never boring – your posts about everyday life are interesting, humorous and poignant (however you spell it).
Mary,
Even when you think you are boring you are not. I could feel that book whizzing past as it hit the garage. Your energy comes through with every word.
I am curious did you ever learn how to drive a stick shift?
I am on the fence about Jodi P. I’m pretty jealous of her accomplishments, given that we’re the same age. The last one of her books I read was 19 minutes, and I felt completely manipulated by it.
My husband taught me to drive standard. He was pretty patient, but later when I got a car that actually had a decent clutch, I realized I was pretty talented to have had success with that hunk o’ junk I learned on. He’s much more patient than I, and he’s the kids’ teacher, though neither of us is very athletic. I stand there, more befuddled than them, saying, “Well, you just…do it! (A product of the Reagan years, I guess.)
Speaking of books (and trust me, Mary, you’re never boring to read), I’m reading a great one – on your mention of the Mary Russell series in a post a few weeks ago – The Beekeeper’s Apprentice by Laurie King. I ordered it from the library, and started it on the subway yesterday morning, and WOW, and then YAY!
Thanks very much!
PS: One of these days/months/years, you’re going to deprive us of your blog, and start channeling your talent into your own novel or short stories. In fact, maybe it’s time to stop reading other people’s stuff and write the stuff that you like to read. Maybe what you’re saying in this post is that you’re almost ready… to, for instance, write a story about this woman who actually does something reckless. Or something else.
Haven Kimmel – I love everything she has ever written. I just like how that woman puts a sentence together.
I do not like Jodi P. books, feels manipulated. I flipped through one in B&N – and passed.
But, I am also a NOT Oprah Book Club reader. I already have had too much angst in my life thank you very much.
It’s time for you to lay back and have your hair combed by the duckies, ducks!
I dislike Jodie Picoult and keep reading her books hoping that THIS one will snag me. Quit doing that after ‘My Sister’s Keeper.’ You have put my feelings about her into words SO well. I have been reading Kristen Hannah and have three other different books next to my bed that are old stand bys. I know that I can open any of them to any spot and be engrossed for the time it takes me to fall asleep at night. They are my current ‘blankies.’ : )
Haven’t had time to be bored in these parts. School is out for the kids on Thursday and for me on Friday. My parents arrive from FL on Sunday.
Oh no – I LOVE Jodi Picoult. Not all of her novels but My Sister’s Keeper is my favorite. I definitely felt cheated at the end but the fact the book made me so mad is a good thing.
No one is blogging anymore (not sure why) but don’t feel bad. My favorite book this year has been Life of Pi. I highly recommend it.
books to read:
all over but the shoutin’
i know why the caged bird sings
death comes for the archbishop
exodus
like water for chocolate
movies (get netflix) that will make you think and jumpstart your writing:
the magdalene sisters
rabbit proof fence
whale rider
spirited away (animated, but may be too much for rabbit)
ELIZABETH
BILLY ELLIOTT
CENTRAL STATION—BRAZIL—FAVORITE
KING OF MASKS—CHINA—FAVORITE
CINEMA PARADISIO—ITALY—FAVORITE
DRUNKEN HORSES—AFGHANISTAN
THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING—LONG, HUNGARIAN STORY
IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER—IRA
RUBY IN PARADISE—ASHLEY JUDD BEFORE SHE WAS SMUG
SWINGERS—NOT WHAT THE TITLE IMPLIES—REAL LAS VEGAS
LIKE WATER FOR CHOCOLATE—MEXICO
In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, ‘Ow, I hurt my leg. I can’t run. A lion eats me. I’m dead.’ Well, I’m not dead. I’m the lion. You’re dead.
-Dwight Schrute