This post didn’t go up yesterday because it’s been floating around in my head and I couldn’t get the words right.  I still might not.  But I’m just going to let it write itself.

My husband is a wonderful, wonderful father.  The times I see him spending with our daughter are very emotional for me.  I see him try to teach her to ride a bike, to hit a golf ball, to read a word or tie her shoes…and I choke up. 

PC is patient with Rabbit, but has high expectations of her.  He won’t let her win at a game, even when she’s just learning.  Even when it is just Candyland.  I used to protest, but I know he is teaching her the rewards of strategy, planning, and hard work.  She has become competitive.  He is strict but fair, insisting on manners and accountability at all times.  She is learning not to expect the world to smile upon her indulgently, because the world doesn’t care that you’re cute and just learned to wink.

PC is responsible with Rabbit.  He never takes short cuts (except the occasional McDonald’s Happy Meal), and doesn’t often allow Rabbit to cut corners in anything.  She is learning to be thorough, to do things right, and to do what she is told.

“Rabbit, you need to do what you are told when you are told,” he said to her the other night.  She began to pout and whine and he held up his hand.  “Don’t argue.  Daddy knows best.” 

“But…but…” she sputtered.

“Rabbit.  You will do as I tell you when I tell you without arguing because someday you will be in danger and I will tell you exactly what to do and you will need to do it so you don’t get hurt.  You need to get used to trusting Daddy.  I will never tell you to do something that isn’t good for you.”

Every little girl needs a father whom she trusts implicitly, depends on utterly, and can love wholeheartedly.  Later on in adolescence, the rebellion may happen, but in the back of her mind, she can remember when Dad knew everything and could fix anything.

The reason PC is so good at all of the strict stuff is that Rabbit knows he loves her more than anyone else in the world.  Rabbit knows that PC thinks her accomplishments are amazing, that she is magical, and that she can do whatever she puts her mind to.  How does she know?  He tells her, and he shows her.

He knows that her character is shaped by the guidance and expectations of her parents.  He also knows that the standard he sets for Rabbit is the litmus test for all future men in her life. 

Some people may read this and think “and?…”

Others who are like me will read this and be wistful.  They may read this and think back upon childhoods without fathers, or with an absentee father, an abusive or neglectful father, or a father whose very indifference was wounding. 

My husband deserves recognition on Father’s Day for many reasons, not least of which is this:  he has helped to bring up two little girls:  our daughter, and another little girlwho for years longed for a caring and attentive father who loved unconditionally and was trusted without question. 

The little girl was mistrustful, guarded, confused and felt unlovable.  She didn’t know her true worth, she felt stupid and clumsy and ashamed.  And PC showed her she was wrong.  He showed her these things by being Rabbit’s father.

That little girl was me.

For being such a wonderful father to my daughter, my husband has healed the child of my heart and brought me peace.