So here’s the deal.

My dad started losing weight this past summer and my parents told us it was because Dad worked so hard in the garden and doing other work.  When my brother went to visit them in August when he took his daughter up there for college, and said later that “Dad looks terrible.”

A few weeks ago, my sister had a call from one of her friends who lives in my parents’ hometown, and she asked my sister “What’s going on with your dad?”  When my sister asked what she was talking about, my sister’s friend said “Well, I heard he was at the hospital for a CAT scan.”

After a flurry of phone calls to my parents, it turned out that one Monday morning, Dad woke up with a lot of abdominal pain and this was after about a week when he occasionally had trouble keeping food down.  He told my mom he probably should go to the doctor, and the doctor sent him in for a CAT scan.

In the interim, my mom (who suffers from anxiety, confusion and what we suspect may be early-stage Alzheimer’s disease) started panicking and calling different members of the family, to whom she reported anything from “Oh, he’s okay” to “Oh it doesn’t look good and I don’t think he’s going to make it to the end of the year.”  She even called one of her sisters and said “The doctor says he has colon cancer and he’s dying.”

Finally, my sister drove up to see them and went with them to a doctor appointment to hear the results of the scan herself. 

There is a tumor in his colon.  But they don’t yet know its pathology, and will do a colonoscopy on the 18th to get a biopsy and find out what the next step should be.  My mom, who was there for the report, was distraught and weeping.  Both parents were confused about the course of treatment.  My sister took copious notes, asked lots of questions, and did what she could to help them before she had to return home across the state and go back to work.

In the meantime, my brother in Mississippi is flying up to Nebraska on Friday and will be with my parents until December 21st. He is going to help my dad with his prep for the colonoscopy and help monitor their health and daily living needs for the next month.  Once we get the pathology report from the biopsy, we’ll know what we’re up against and can start planning for my parents’ care.

Another sister will be there starting tomorrow and will take my mom to the doctor for some anti-depressants and to help her actually get to the neurologist appointment she cancelled last month, to determine if her confusion is related to Alzheimer’s or just crippling stress.  She’ll also spend some “girl time” with my mom and help make sure Mom is comfortable and taking better care of herself.

For now, Dad has lost more than 30 pounds and can’t keep food down.  My sister had the doctor prescribe pain medication, and she did some grocery shopping for them, ordered Dad a replacement Medicare card and did some cleaning. 

I hope to spend some time with them during the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day.  When I’m there, I just want time to visit, play cribbage, bake bread, take them out for coffee, go to church with them and try to make their lives as comfortable as possible. 

I cannot express adequately how touched I have been by the comments and emails I have received from readers and friends who have shared their experiences with sick parents, their struggles with these emotions, and the prayers and good thoughts aimed at my Dad from all over the world. 

Thank you.