I have nothing to write about. The end.
No, wait. I’ll check.
Nope, nothing to write about. Seriously, last week I was down to posting a picture of my busted toenail. The well done gone dry.
I could write about how I haven’t done Christmas cards yet and that we’re not sending out a Christmas letter for the first time in about 12 years because it would be too depressing.
Or I could write about how I sat in my office reading a past issue of The New Yorker that was devoted entirely to food and how PC was at that same time making tater tot casserole in the kitchen.
Or I could write about how I was too cheap to invest any more money in facial products for my terribly dry skin and improvised last night with FOOT CREAM, apricot exfoliant scrubbed over the top of it, then followed by regular facial soap and then moisturizer and that my skin looked dewy-fresh for the next 24 hours.
But I can’t write about that because it’s dull and embarrassing. Foot cream? On my FACE? Oh and p.s.: my sister gave me another tip about using chap stick under your eyes but don’t tell her I gave away her secret. And for God’s sake, don’t try it with Burt’s Bees or Carmex because the camphor and peppermint oil in it will burn your eyes. I learn so you don’t have to.
So this is what it comes down to. I’m writing about skin care.
For the love of all that is holy, please send me some questions to answer in upcoming blog posts or I’ll be forced to post household hints or celebrity gossip.
Personally, I got a kick out of your post. “I learn so you don’t have to.” BWAHAHA!
How old were you when you got your last baby doll? I was 11. My mom actually told me it was going to be my last baby doll. I don’t know why she wanted me to know in advance, but she was right. I never got another baby doll.
When was the last time you saw the ocean? When was the first time you saw the ocean? What do you think of large bodies of water, in general?
How’s your toe?
What’s your favorite Christmas carol? Why? Do you go to church/mass every week? Just at Christmas and Easter? Never? What do you tell Rabbit about the meaning of Christmas? Do you consciously refrain from saying “Merry Christmas” for fear the other person might not be Christian? If so, what are you afraid of? That they will say “I’m not Christian?”
Does this give you a good sense of how many different directions my mind runs at all times? Have you ever thought about how much of ourselves is our “silent selves,” consisting only of our internal conversations and unspoken thoughts?
How tall are you in heels? Did you have to wear a larger shoe to accommodate the sore, busted toe-nail? Is your Christmas shopping done and all things wrapped? How’s you dad doing today? Do you think it will snow tomorrow? Who shovels your sidewalk? How many books do you own and how many times have you read each of them? Did you buy better boots since the toe incident? Why is the sky blue?
There. Pick a subject and blog it.
Di
The Blue Ridge Gal
oh, i’m going with the skin care.
baby oatmeal, plus buttermilk, and a little bit of honey…you can go all out and throw oats in the blender ’til pulverized, if you don’t want questions about the baby oatmeal (flakes, unflavored and no additives, in a box).
mix, and slather…if you let it sit, it thickens. you can also refrigerate the leftover, and nuke for 2 seconds.
whatever moisturizer you put on in the morning (assuming make-up, too), wet a washcloth, squeeze out excess, and microwave for 32 seconds. test for heat, and then unfold over your face and drink in the steam. you’ll look mah-velous.
best foot scrub: olive oil plus sugar, maybe lemon and rosemary for fragrance. best face scrub: corn meal or ground almonds, mixed with apricot oil. again, the micro-waved wet washcloth after you rinse.
You are hysterical, my dear. These “nothing to write about” posts are truly the best ones!
I wanna know whether you prefer one solid color of christmas lights on your tree, or the multicolor ones. Why?
Have you ever tried a bacon chocolate bar? Vosges here in Chicago sells them, and I wonder. Could they be good? I mean, they have to be, right?
Hey, if the skin care regime worked, then yay! for frugal beauty. “Frugal beauty”: I’m getting an idea for a whole series of blog posts for you, Mary. Can you feel it?
I want to read a story about your best Christmas ever or even just memories of christmasses in your house. I love Christmas for the memories it brings of children tearing down the stairs in to the living room to see what was under the tree, my Mum was always smiling and Dad was home all day, it was brilliant, I miss it.
Here’s a question – how will we celebrate the New Year? Wait – I’ll be asleep by 10:00 so there goes any sort of celebration for me.