This was a day where everything I had planned just went off the tracks, derailed and irretrievable.

Nothing catastrophic, just a series of postponed appointments, lost keys, missed phone calls and other delays that set back the course of all the plans I had made by hours or even days.

By the time I got home I was incensed and grumpy, and Rabbit decided she wanted to play drums on the Tinker Toy cannister in the living room when I finally sat down to take off my shoes.  I was snappish with her, and the PC stood on the stairs telling me in unwelcome detail about how how was going to insulate the kitchen crawl space, going on and on until my brain shorted out and my eyes glazed over, my dinner growing cold in front of me. 

Some days, it is very, very, very difficult to be nice.  And it usually happens on the days when everyone else is being nice, or having a good day.  And no matter what anyone does, I find myself seething, wondering to myself how it is that everyone in the entire world with whom I am forced to have contact for any amount of time that day can be so incredibly annoying, stupid or clueless.

Then I finally sit down in my office with the door shut after taking a deep breath and I close my eyes for a few minutes before the inevitable clamoring at the door from someone needing to know where the vegetable oil is, or from someone wanting chapstick or a hug, and I calm down enough to know that only someone who is drowning in the riches of a loving family and people who need her could be so cruelly annoyed by it all.  And then I am ashamed.

Because I often think I would like nothing more than to escape all this human contact for a little while, but I know that to be alone and lonely would be far worse.