Apr 8 2012

Chicken, Beef, Chicken and Jane Eyre

It seems like all I talk about on here is food, but that’s just because I think about food so often and it’s the one thing besides housing that takes the most of our income.

I found a blog where someone in New York is feeding herself and her boyfriend on $30 a week.  But it’s all vegetarian and they have an amazing food co-op, and there’s a lot of food on her menu that I could never convince my husband and daughter to eat.  And besides, I’m not interested in giving up chicken or bacon.

We are, however, leaning away from beef.  The “pink slime” debate in the country, regarding IBP’s use of  ”lean beef trimmings” processed with an ammonia-based food disinfectant and added to ground beef…that was part of our discomfort.  Even though we know this has been going on for a long time, it’s still kind of nasty to think about.

The other part of it is the corn-feeding of cattle, which is standard operating procedure nowadays.  They aren’t meant to eat corn or grains – in fact, it’s terrible for them.  Their stomachs and digestive systems are designed for plants and grasses.  I know I didn’t FINISH reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma but I got to the final chapter.  I know that corn is not good for cattle, and that eating too much beef is bad for our health, bad for our environment and so on.

On the other hand, I live in a state where agriculture is a major factor in the economy, especially beef…and corn.  Omnivore’s dilemma, indeed.

Anyway, I don’t have any grand pronouncement today and am frankly not in the mood to debate with anyone about the subject.  If you think I should go vegan, I’m not going to.  If you think I’m overreacting to pink slime, that’s okay.  If you think the cattle industry is corrupt or that it’s sacred, well, you’re entitled to either opinion.

We’re just thinking about easing up on the beef consumption because it can’t hurt our health to do so.

We’ve been eating a lot more chicken around here lately anyway.  And today I discovered that I can ROAST A CHICKEN IN MY CROCK POT.

I know.  Thrilling, right?

I got a decent sized roasting chicken at Trader Joe’s for $5.01.  I rinsed it and dried it, then put it in the crock pot on top of a bed of coarsely chopped onions and several baby carrots.  I covered the chicken in a dry rub of salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, chili powder, cumin and a little tiny bit of sugar.  Then I dusted it with paprika.  Put the lid on, put it on high for about four hours and it was falling off the bone tender.

We had it for our midday dinner with oven roasted potatoes and oven roasted asparagus (both tossed with olive oil, salt and pepper).  SO GOOD.

The leftover chicken was pulled off the bones and put in the fridge.  Then I threw the carcass back into the crock pot with the leftover onions and carrots from cooking.  I added a bay leaf, a little celery, and poured in enough water to cover it, and set it on high for a few more hours.

I strained the stock, cooled the carcass and pulled off the last bits of meat.  When the stock cools, I’ll take the fat off the top and freeze the stock for soup or a casserole.  Best of all, I have several cups of chopped up chicken for some meals this week.  Not bad for a $5.00 chicken!

In other news.  I’ve eaten about fifteen chocolate chip cookies this weekend.  I’d like another one, because I like even numbers.

Also, I watched the most recent movie version of “Jane Eyre” this evening, and it was lovely.

That is all.

Apr 3 2012

She Eats Because She’s Happy….

Pictured below are four of the many recent lunches I’ve packed for Rabbit in her new lunch box.  SHE LOVES TAKING LUNCH TO SCHOOL!  I’ve really enjoyed packing her meals in the evenings and often put together one for myself with similar ingredients so we can compare notes at the end of the day.  The big difference is that Rabbit likes deviled eggs and I do not – she has them at least once a week if not more often.

1.  Octopuses made from one Wimmers hot dog (if you live in this region, Wimmers are the exception to my “hot dogs are vile and nasty” rule.  They’re old fashioned dog in natural casings and Rabbit likes them cold).  Capers for eyes.  Cocktail dill pickles.  String cheese.  Peanut butter on celery.  Saltines.  Not pictured:  carton of yogurt and cafeteria milk.

Verdict:  She loved it.

2.  Deviled egg.  Smoked turkey.  Crunchy mini breadsticks.  Olives and a clementine.  Bite size Twix. Not pictured:  juice box.

Verdict:  ”Mommy, can you please peel my clementine next time?”  She only has about 11 minutes to eat at lunch (!!!) so we’re working on making food that is easier to eat fast.

Mozzarella, turkey and cherry tomato kebabs.  Grapes and strawberry.  Carrots and celery.  Almonds and chocolate cat cookies.  String cheese.  Not pictured: juice box.

Verdict:  Too much food and not enough time.  She went straight for the cookies and left the kebabs in the box.  We instituted a rule that the evening before I will show her what to eat first and after that, she’s done really well.

4.  Deviled egg.  Peeled and sectioned clementine.  Cherry tomatoes on a bed of string cheese strips. Chocolate cat cookies and almonds.  Juice.

This is tomorrow’s lunch so we’ll see what the verdict is.

I didn’t get pictures of several recent lunches.  For example, today she had cream cheese-filled pepperonis, string cheese, grapes and strawberries, bread stick minis, and chocolate cake (made with cake batter on the waffle iron) and peanut butter.  She ate every single bit.

I realize that someone may take issue with my use of juice boxes – they were on sale and Rabbit doesn’t drink any other form of juice at home or at school.  Also, a couple of her meals appear to be higher in sodium than may be optimal (the hot dog one, for instance) and I see that.  But compared with the school lunches she was eating before, these are paragons of nutrition.

Some past lunches also included edamame (soy beans), raisins, a peanut butter sandwich, veggie chips from Trader Joe’s, and other healthy things.  I’ve found that the more fun it looks, the less she objects to a new food.  I’ll usually show her the lunch the night before because if it’s not a standard, she doesn’t like to be surprised with what’s in a meal.

I have some corn tortillas that I plan to bake in miniature muffin cups to form tiny taco shells/taco salad bowls. I will serve those with shredded baked chicken, cheddar cheese, tomatoes and some sour cream (which she would eat by the pint).  She’s also been enjoying applesauce and cottage cheese in her lunches.

I guess we consume a lot of dairy in our house!  Cottage cheese, cheese, cream cheese, milk, yogurt. We also eat a lot of eggs: about a dozen a week (I guess that’s a lot?).

PC isn’t on the cold lunch bandwagon.  But he still takes lunch to work – usually leftovers from dinner the night before.  Roast beef and potatoes and gravy.  Chicken scallopine and pasta.  Tacos, enchiladas, or soup.  Occasionally we won’t have leftovers and he’ll take the makings of a sandwich, or a can of soup to heat up in the break room.

When I pack Rabbit’s lunch in the morning, I slide a flat ice pack (about 1/2″ thick) into a cloth napkin (to absorb condensation) into the bottom of the insulated lunchbox and then put her plastic container inside on top of it.  If there are extras (yogurt or juice) I put them on top and sometimes put another small ice pack next to them.

We tried freezing a small Rubbermaid screw-top juicebox container of water one day but it hadn’t thawed by lunch time and the straw inside broke.  Waste of $2.00.

Overall, we’re really pleased with her lunch experience and cannot say enough good things about the lunch box itself.  It’s also nice to know how much she’s eating at the end of the day by looking in her container, instead of relying on her sketchy memory from hot lunch.

Additionally, I’m noticing that she’s not as sluggish at the end of the day, usually has her homework done early and is more respectful in general, which could be a combination of quitting hot lunch and not watching as much TV.

Either way – viva lunchbox!

Mar 26 2012

Lunchy Lunchy Nom Nom Nom

Rabbit, PC and I have been packing lunches each day and this evening as  I was preparing ours, I finally thought to take pictures of the finished product.

Rabbit recently received a lunchbox from a friend (and your thank you note is being written tomorrow by Rabbit herself, by the way) and she’s been utterly thrilled to have a pink thermal tote in which to carry her compartmented container with select goodies, an ice pack and the sure knowledge that she doesn’t have to eat greasy hot lunch if she doesn’t want to.

I am still carrying my trusty tiffin tin lunch system from To-Go Ware, which I got about three years ago (four years?  It was back when I was vegan….).  PC carries either a divided plastic lunch dish or just a container of leftovers, depending on what he’s having.  Today he had a sandwich and fruit.  Tomorrow he’s taking leftover chicken enchiladas.

The lunch I packed for Rabbit this evening for tomorrow’s meal was pretty basic, but she doesn’t eat much and doesn’t have much time to eat.  After discovering she loves deviled eggs, I included one in her lunch:

She’s getting a clementine, some olives (her request), mini sesame breadsticks, a little Twix bar (a surprise from me), a deviled egg (made with the “lid” stuck back on to prevent it from getting too sloppy) and a generous serving of sliced turkey, which she likes to just eat without bread.  I’ll put this container (with the lid on) into her lunch box and add a flat ice pack and a juicebox, or she’ll buy a carton of milk at the cafeteria for 25cents.

Today’s lunch was a PB&J sandwich, sliced cucumbers and edamame (neither of which she ate), string cheese and a clementine (she didn’t eat the clementine until after school).  And a juicebox.

The lunch I made for myself for tomorrow is pictured below:

Each section of the tin stacks on the other, and then they’re clamped together and placed in a carrying bag.  On the left, a clementine, a handful of raisins and some cheddar cheese. On the right, a tortilla wrap filled with lettuce and homemade chicken salad.  Above, the small container in the larger one is filled with yogurt.  Next to it is a bite size candy bar and a paper napkin.

I’m lactose intolerant but I’m eating cheese and yogurt because of the calcium, and taking dairy-ease to combat the side effects.   The lunch above is one I will eat in two separate shifts, just basically snacking while at the office to keep me from gorging myself when I get home, since there are days when I don’t eat anything until evening.

For a fun (at least to me) browse through what others pack for lunches, visit here (the site where you can get a lunch system like Rabbit’s) and see the gallery of meals people pack.  Some of these parents are way more creative and elaborate than I will ever be.  I had a great time looking at the fun lunches and getting ideas.

Do you pack a lunch?  What do you eat for lunch when you’re at work or away from home or on the go?

Mar 24 2012

Recession, Depression, and How We Are Getting Through

Wow, so sixteen days between posts just might be an all time record on here.

Anyway.

How we survived (so far): the Great Recession.

1.  We were able to negotiate a mortgage modification on our house, which will reduce our house payments by about 28% every month.  This will begin in a week and go for 4 months.  After 4 months (the trial period), they will refinance at whatever the interest rate is on July 1st, which will still be better than the 6.5% rate we were at when we purchased the house.  This is a game-changer for us.

2.  Our bankruptcy was filed just over a week ago, and we have our meeting date with the trustee in May.  We filed Chapter 13 instead of Chapter 7 (reorganization and repayment of creditors instead of debt cancellation) because a chunk of our debt is taxes and student loan debt, which is non-dischargeable.

3.  My business is finally, finally, FINALLY beginning to pick up.  I will have two closings in April, which will be my first income OF THE YEAR.  I have not had any commissions since the week of Thanksgiving last year.  That’s the worst dry spell I’ve had in eight years.  I have one listing active and four in the pipeline, all of which are having repairs done before they go on the market.  I have three sets of buyers in various stages of looking/buying/deciding.

How we have  been climbing out (so far) pf the great personal depression of the last several months:

4.  We joined a church and are officially Lutherans now.  Rabbit is enjoying going to Sunday School and we feel very good about the congregation we joined, including the traditional music, the coffee hour on Sundays and the VERY active congregation with dozens of outreach programs.  I’m going to sign up for the Stephen Ministry, which is a 50-hour training course to be a resource for outreach/encouragement to people in difficult circumstances.  It’s sort of a peer mentor/encouragement/prayer partner thing.  I figure with everything that has happened to me and to us over the past three years, I should be in a position to give back and empathize with others.

5.  I am a KNITTING FOOL.  So far, I think I’ve knitted about 16 dish cloths, a lace pattern scarf from bamboo-blend yarn, a baby afghan, three other scarves, and am currently working on another scarf and a second baby afghan.  All of this knitting has severely cut into my reading time, but I’m slowly but surely amassing a collection of things to give away.  I will take photos and post them soon.

6.  Rabbit received a lunch box from a blog reader, and it arrived the day before yesterday (side note:  Dear Friend, you will be receiving a personal note from Ms. Rabbit herself next week).  It’s a pink insulated soft-sided lunch cooler with a collection of three-compartment plastic containers that hold a LOT of food.  Her first official lunch consisted of a boiled egg, some sliced cucumber and edamame, mini-breadsticks, a clementine, a little cupful of sweet cereal as a treat, and a juice box.   I found out she has been throwing away the egg yolk, and that’s a no-no.  We’ll do deviled eggs next time, which she loves.

7.  One of my clients is an 87 year old woman with no family in town.  She has one son who lives way out west in another state, and she has moved to an assisted living facility.  Her neighbor was entrusted to sell her belongings and give away the rest (of the things that the lady didn’t take with her to her new apartment).  I picked up a small pressure cooker, a newer crock pot, an electric skillet and a completely fantastic 1965 Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook, with a section on outdoor cooking that had illustrations that looked like a scene from Mad Men.  ”Gertrude”, my client (not her real name, obviously) said I could have all those things in exchange for bringing her a couple of bags of groceries from the store next time I visit, since she has no car and can’t get around very well any more.  Oh, and I’m required to bring Rabbit out to visit her in the near future.   I think I can do that.

8.  It’s spring here, in full force.  I don’t EVER recall the trees being in bloom this early in the season. Everything is just heart-stoppingly beautiful (other than the clots of earthworms gathered in door frames and near garage doors after the recent rains) and the weather has been completely gorgeous.

9.  Tonight, I went to see “The Hunger Games” at the theater with four high school girls from my latest youth retreat. The movie was just great.  PC and Rabbit and I rented and watched the movie “Hugo” recently, and loved that as well.

I will write more soon, and something besides a list.  I’ll have pictures of lunchbox lunches, knitting projects, crabapple blossoms, Rabbit’s new capri pants, and more.  I’ll have a recipe or two, some helpful tips and a few posts about life nearly 2 years since losing my dad, and how that process has gutted and re-configured me.

What I’ve learned recently is something pretty basic:  I’m here on this earth not to run things, but to love people.  Life really falls apart for me when I try to control it and take charge of things that really aren’t my forte or my business.  When I try kindness and care and love and concern for others, and put those things ahead of trying to make life more convenient for myself, all manner of good things start to happen.

I don’t know if that’s just the natural order of things or divine intervention or what the heck, but I know that if something works, keep doing it.

Mar 8 2012

Checking In, Not Checking Out

I’m coming up for air just long enough to report that it will be several weeks before things even begin to approach a semblance of normal around here.

I’m “gutting it out” as the saying goes: just trying to make sure we keep our heads above water, getting through the next four weeks or so until life evens out a little.

I’ve been busy and finally got a house sold, and have some new clients getting ready to buy and sell. PC is working 50 hours a week and our financial situation should start to be resolved by the end of the month.

My car , sensing doom, decided to break down. Actually, what sounded like a death knell turned out to be a slipped belt in a steel belted tire, and was fixed in a day for way less than I had anticipated.

Between busy-ness with business and occasional bouts of crippling anxiety about finances, I’ve been absent from here, just to keep this from turning into a depressing place. When things look up, I will have all kinds of stories to share that may help people going through what we’re experiencing, but right now, we’re still just trying to find our way out of this mess.

Rabbit is doing just fine; she has decided she hates school lunches, but doesn’t want to take lunch to school unless she has a lunch box. We’re working on that. She’s currently being denied desserts for a week because she took a 40 minute shower and then spent 40 more minutes staring around at her room instead of cleaning it. I know the feeling.

And for the record, I’m not depressed…I’m just swamped and overwhelmed and just the tiniest bit terrified, but we see light at the end of the tunnel and it doesn’t look much like a train.

What’s new with y’all?

Mar 1 2012

Dear Rush Limbaugh

Dear Rush Limbaugh,

We are so fortunate to have you.  We are so fortunate that you leaned into that microphone this week and called out a young woman who requested insurance coverage for birth control.  It’s refreshing that you did not just infer that she was someone of shoddy morals.  It’s beautiful that you called her out by name and then said she was a slut and that if she wanted the government to pay for her birth control that she should submit to you a video of herself having sex.

This really happened.  And I’m so glad you made it happen.

Because perhaps once and for all people who find you “entertaining” and “blunt” will be led to redefine their description of you to something more accurate:  I suggest “psychotic” and “evil.”  I’m sure there are other adjectives floating around out there and I sincerely hope they find you and burrow under your crusty, flabby skin.

How DARE you with your cold dead eyes presume to use your bully pulpit to unleash your toxic verbal diarrhea onto the airwaves?   How dare you say such a disgusting thing to someone who was simply insisting on a constitutional right to be able to use her health insurance for preventive care and medication prescribed by a physician?  How dare you get away with it?

I find it interesting that someone who had so little regard for healthcare that he abused prescription drugs would suddenly have a problem with a medication or medical intervention that is not only legal but can protect a woman’s health.  I find it fascinating that you and so many others insist that the government that governs best is the one that governs the least.  Yet suddenly, your tiny little scrotum is clenched up in outrage because a “femiNazi” is courageously testifying before Congress that it is not the government’s role to tell her what medication or health regimen she can or cannot have access to through her insurance plan.

And while we’re at it, shame on your “friends.”  You know, the parasites who allow you to give voice to the vile and scummy things they think behind closed doors but know they cannot say from their debate platforms for fear of political reprisal.  Shame on them for not condemning your appalling screed about the morality of women who choose to prevent an unwanted pregnancy by using contraceptives.

Shame on all of you for the way you have turned the tradition of reasoned debate into demagoguery and a violence of words.  And shame on us for allowing it to go on for so long.

Shame on any women who listen to your show or support people who echo your opinions of women.  They are delusional if they think your cronies give a rat’s ass about them.

I sincerely hope that the young lady you slandered hires a team of righteously furious attorneys and sues the pants off of you.  And when they do and you are standing there with your business hanging out for everyone to see , remind me to grab a microscope to search for evidence of your manhood.

Sincerely,

Mary

Feb 18 2012

Life is Getting Better

No, we have not died.  It has been a long silent stretch here as we work to rebuild some falling apart-ness in the finances department, and slowly but surely there is some resolution ahead.

I have been slammed with work – three active sets of buyers wanting to look at houses every day, writing an offer with one couple, presenting it to some for sale by owner sellers and negotiating for what is now the third straight day.

In addition, I’ve been working on preparations for three new listings that may or may not pan out, but in the meanwhile, it’s been extra responsibility.

PC got an interview for a promotion at his work, so any good thoughts you could send his way would be GREAT – the interview is this Tuesday the 21st.

Rabbit got a super cute haircut today.  I was tired of it being straggly and in her face, barely clean when she couldn’t rinse the shampoo out, too long to keep combed and in all other ways completely unmanageable for a nine-year-old who doesn’t want Mom involved in her hair.  So we went to Annette and got about three inches cut off Rabbit’s hair, and Annette shaped it into a bouncy little chin length bob that is completely adorable.  Rabbit was a little concerned at first with how short it was, but really loves how bouncy and smooth it is.

I’ve officially moved on from knitting with cheap yarn to knitting with the good stuff.  Yesterday I got some bamboo-fiber yarn and it is like silk.  I’m working on a daisy-stitch knit scarf for a friend.  It is amazing the difference in drape and feel between cheap yarn and the good stuff.  After I get a few scarves done, I’m thinking I’ll try to learn cable knit, and then hats.

Have any of you been watching “Downton Abbey” on PBS Masterpiece Classics????  It is so good!  I watched the first season on Netflix when we still had that, and have been hooked on this season. So great.

Tonight for dinner, we had sauteed chicken breast with garlic and French green beans (sauteed right in with the chicken), along with Trader Joe’s garlic and cilantro naan bread.  Later, after Rabbit goes to bed, I’m indulging in some dark chocolate dipped in peanut butter.  The PMS, she must be fed and calmed.

This is such a piecemeal posting, but I miss writing on here and I will be back soon with things of substance.  Thanks to those checking in with me.  Yes, I’m alive.  Life is getting better.

Feb 7 2012

I Promise You: It Will Be Okay

Here I am.  I’m putting it all out there because hopefully this will help someone.  If you are squeamish or uncomfortable reading about someone’s struggles, then MAN ARE YOU READING THE WRONG BLOG.

A while back, I posted about bankruptcy, entitling it “Dave Ramsey Doesn’t Want You to Read This.”  The guru of self-sufficiency is pretty black and white about what you can and can’t do to get out of debt and pretty much states that bankruptcy filing is a cop-out.

Well, folks, that man is full of shit sometimes.  (Pardon me for not mentioning it earlier, but I might cuss just a little here).

Here’s what I will tell you about financial hardship:

1.  Don’t count on your tax return for money.  If you are expecting money back, don’t think about it until you have the actual check.  We were expecting a sizable refund from 2010′s filing and then were audited, and then they disallowed a big tax credit, and then penalized us TWENTY PERCENT, so that our refund dwindled away to nothing and is now a tax bill of over $1,800.

Even if we had been given the refund, the fallacy in this is that people plan their finances around the tax return all the time.  And then a lot of people spend it on recreational or luxury items (I consider something like a TV or a video game or a vacation a luxury item).  Personally, we were going to spend ours on bills, on filing our bankruptcy, on groceries, badly needed clothes, and car repairs.  Now we are starting from ground zero and figuring out a way to get through this mess without the tax money.  It is, as they say, what it is.

2.  Do NOT keep your burdens to yourself.  I’m not saying to write it all out on a blog, but if there’s someone with the power to help you or even to encourage you, talk to them.  I called our mortgage company today and talked to a very nice woman who is helping us to apply for a mortgage modification or loan assistance to lower our monthly payments.   We are filling out a hardship document for the hospital bills still owed for PC’s surgery of over 14 months ago, to see if they will forgive part or all of the bill.  The bankruptcy attorney said he will work with us to pay for his fees in installments, and will talk to the creditors to get them off our backs before our official filing.

DO NOT BE PROUD.  Pride does not buy groceries.  Explore the options available to you and if you think you have no options, talk to someone for a second opinion.   You will be surprised.

3.  Make a plan to change what you can.   I have applied for a second job, and am doing some contract work for a friend to help make ends meet.  We are living as frugally as we possibly can and are second-guessing every penny we spend to make sure it is for something we really need.  Again, don’t be proud.  Some friends were talking about getting together for dinner at “someplace inexpensive, like Applebees…”  Instead of going along and spending money we couldn’t afford, I straight up said “That’s not something I’ve budgeted for, so I’ll have to pass.”   Every penny counts.

4.  Turn to a higher power.  This actually should have been my first point.  But there it is.  Whether you believe in God or not, whether you pray or not, it should go without saying that if you have done all you humanly can, and you are still in a leaky boat, then turn to something or someone greater than yourself for peace, for inspiration, for healing and for hope.  Your higher power may be nature.  It may be the sun.  It may be Buddha, or Mohammed, or Jesus Christ.  Whatever you turn to in thanks for the good things, you should turn to for mercy in the bad times.

I have found in my life that things go VERY VERY badly when I think I can do everything myself.  I am brought to my knees and humbled when I realize the wreckage I look at is a result of my own negligence, or pride or overestimation of abilities.  Personally, I cannot live my life properly without  God’s help: I know this because I have tried and failed numerous times.

When you release your pain and your fear and your sufferings (whether your suffering is relatively lighter than another person’s is not a consideration here), but when you release those things to a power greater than yourself and say “I can’t deal with this so I am turning it over to you with trust that you will show me the way and not let me fall,” – when you do that, the peace and release of stress you experience is enough to get you through the next five minutes, five hours, day or week.

YOU CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY WHEN YOU ARE PARALYZED BY FEAR OR CRIPPLED BY ANXIETY.

The Bible says “He did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power and understanding.”

5.  Finally. No matter how dark it seems, no matter how out of control things feel, no matter how hopeless the situation looks, DO NOT GIVE UP.  How you got to this point is important to understand, but don’t dwell on it if it won’t let you move forward.  Look around and focus on something positive.

Never, ever, ever think to yourself that the situation you are in today is so dire that you can’t get through it.  History is littered with stories of people who overcame unimaginable hardships.  What if they had given up?

I had a fleeting thought several weeks ago about life insurance.  About how my life insurance would take care of all of our debts and obligations, and how that money would fix everything.  But it’s just money.  I’m not paralyzed, I’m not disabled: I can earn money.  Would life for my family be easier if they had money instead of me?  Maybe.  But would it be better?  Absolutely not.  For as much as I fail, for as hard as I make things for them, for as difficult as I have been – I am still a blessing to someone, and they need me.

If you find yourself thinking life would be easier or better for someone without you (and believe me, I’m not the only one who has had that thought), I know it’s not a suicidal thought: sometimes it’s nothing more than a tallying of the inventory of your worth.  It’s a condemnation of your value. It’s a seemingly frank and objective assessment of what you have to offer.

And it’s wrong.

Like me, you may feel you have failed your family or yourself a thousand different ways.  Like me, you may be taking an accounting of your life and feel at times that you suck.  But I can promise you with 100% certainty that regardless of what you have done or imagined you have done, regardless of your feelings of futility, regardless of all the outside factors of debt or financial hardships or missteps: you are a blessing and value to someone.

Your checkbook may be worth nothing, but you are not your bank balance.  You are precious and priceless and a value beyond diamonds, to one or two or a dozen or a thousand people.

I know you are out there.  I know someone reading this got up this morning and thought “Everything is falling apart and I can’t do this and we will never get out from under this avalanche.”  I know that feeling.  I have that feeling.

But I’ve been through the avalanche.  I’m still digging out of the snow, in fact.  But if I see your hat sticking out of the snow, I’m going to dig for you and help you get out. People have done it for me.  I know how it feels and I’m here to promise you this:

EVERYTHING WILL GET BETTER.  Maybe not immediately, but work at it and you will get out of it.  I PROMISE YOU.